A Good Listener

IMO,

1. understands the difference between listening and understanding, and strives to do both.

2. patiently comprehends and, though makes internal notes, does not verbalize judgments.

3. understands the importance of "re-verbalizing" what the speaker has said, in order to hear it in conjunction with simply thinking it. 

4. learns what values the other person holds and prescribes accordingly -- if asked. Note: This last part depends on what you sense the other person is looking for. Sometimes they may be looking to just vent; other times while may crave direct and poignant feedback. 

Thanks to JoHanna for helping me work this through.