Cognitive Difficulty

David Brooks comments on Amy Chua's piece about Chinese arenting, blogged about here. Excerpts, emphasis mine:

"I have the opposite problem with Chua. I believe she’s coddling her children. She’s protecting them from the most intellectually demanding activities because she doesn’t understand what’s cognitively difficult and what isn’t."

"Practicing a piece of music for four hours requires focused attention, but it is nowhere near as cognitively demanding as a sleepover with 14-year-old girls. Managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics, understanding social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group — these and other social tests impose cognitive demands that blow away any intense tutoring session or a class at Yale."

"Chua would do better to see the classroom as a cognitive break from the truly arduous tests of childhood. Where do they learn how to manage people? Where do they learn to construct and manipulate metaphors? Where do they learn to perceive details of a scene the way a hunter reads a landscape? Where do they learn how to detect their own shortcomings? Where do they learn how to put themselves in others’ minds and anticipate others’ reactions?"

The other day I went to a Business school session where they "taught" us how to network. Tw0 minute elevator pitches and other formalizations were emphasized. I saw students nervously trying to remember their pre-planned pitches when approaching recruiters at the career fair. What's next, teaching 12 year olds "proper" etiquette at a sleep over? So much of social interaction is spontaneous, unconscious, and the skills are only developed by doing it. A person's integrity, curiousness, and empathy are revealed through inadvertent measures; they cannot be hidden, no matter how great one's two minute pitch is.

Bottom Line: Brooks thinks by forcing her kids to practice math problems instead of having sleepovers with their friends, Amy Chua has good intentions--she is just misguided. To be sure, math problems are tremendously important, but Brooks suggests they are not as important--or as cognitively difficult--as a sleepover with 14 year old girls. If parents want their kids to be successful, they would do well to encourage their kids to do their math problems and then go to their sleepovers.

Social Animal: The science behind everyday life

Here is David Brooks' piece in the New Yorker last week. I recommend reading it in its entirety. An excerpt:

"They live in a society that prizes the development of career skills but is inarticulate when it comes to the things that matter most. The young achievers are tutored in every soccer technique and calculus problem, but when it comes to their most important decisions--whom to marry and whom to befriend, what to love and what to despise--they are on their own. Nor, for all their striving, do they understand the qualities that lead to the highest achievement. Intelligence, academic performance, and prestigious schools don't correlate well with fulfillment, or even with outstanding accomplishment. The traits that do make a difference are poorly understood, and can't be taught in a classroom, no matter what the tuition: the ability to understand and inspire people; to read situations and discern the underlying patterns; to build trusting relationships; to recognize and correct one's shortcomings; to imagine alternate futures. In short, these achievers have a sense that they are shallower than they need to be."

The last page of the article is pure gold, so I won't spoil it for you. Much of his thoughts are based on his research on neuroscience, which, as he says, "helps fill the hole left by the atrophy of theology and philosophy." I've been meaning to read Jonathan Haidt as a primer.

Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

This article brings up some good points regarding self-esteem and parenting. (who is in debt to who?) I recommend reading it in its entirety. Here is an excerpt, emphasis mine:

"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more."

The article suggests that kids need an extra push at the beginning. Once they gain a certain level of proficiency they will enjoy the activity and presumably be self-motivated. I'm not sure I agree; in my experience, coercion does not lead to self-motivation. Despite a lack of skills in piano, ballet, or pitching, I am more than happy with my self-directed exploration and the assistance--not coercion--I was given in my childhood.

That said, my impending economics homework would be easier if my mother was Chinese. (Only half-kidding. Love you, mom!)

The Imbroglio over the Ground Zero Mosque

this article details the conflict, includes interviews with right-wing bloggers and the owner of 45-51 Park Place.

I was intrigued by this quote:

"Asked if, considering everything that has happened in the ongoing argument about the mosque, he would do it all over again, Sharif El-Gamal leaned back in his chair. 'Yes,' he answered in low voice. 'Even knowing everything, I would have done it again.

Because there was a conversation that had to be had, and now we're having it."

My letter to Cresskill High School

This is what I sent them a few months ago:

Principal Eftychiou,

Upon coming back to Cresskill, I've been thinking: There's not really a venue for college students to channel their energy or efforts when they return to Cresskill, whether during the summer or over breaks. We come back for weeks or even months at a time, yet we're no longer affiliated with the high school--which is unfortunate because whether assisting via clubs, classes, or panels for students or parents, I believe engagement by college students can bridge gaps between HS students and parents and supplement CHS education by providing them with a widened perspective and appropriate role models.

Many people have differences of opinion regarding what alumni should do. All I am interested in doing is giving them, us, a role that we can fit into. Louie Zimick spearheaded a group called Cresskill Gives Back, which focuses primarily on fundraising for town events. Jacob Grunberger, Emily Olcott and I, have been thinking more along the lines of dialogue with students, and parents, and assistance with extra curricular events (Olcott with theatre & music, Grunberger with debate, Pryanka Gumaste a panel with parents & students about what they can expect in college, etc.)

The logistics are vague, but I believe they are also secondary. What needs to happen before that is an agreement that college students would like to participate in anyway they can be helpful during their stay in Cresskill and that their participation would indeed be helpful to the CHS community.

Granted, not all graduated high school students are appropriate role models for CHS students, and that presents a logistical discussion for the future. But I believe that the knowledge that CHS students can play a part after they graduate will make them feel more invested in their school and their community. Let me know if you have thought of this concept before and what you think of it now.

I am curious to hear what you have to say. I am leaving June 13 to work in Florida for the summer, but I am open to either start a discussion via email or in person in the next week or over one of my breaks. Take your time--I understand the last few weeks of school can be busy.

Cheers to the upcoming graduation,

Erik

The principle and assistant principle replied nicely, requesting a meeting in the future, however a two month trip to IMG put this on halt. Being that I'm going back to university next week, this will most likely pick up come December. Cresskillians, contact me if you'd like to participate or have any thoughts.

Others, let me know if you live in a less active town and what you think about it. Especially if your in college, do you feel like your using that your breaks, say that month in December, wisely?